It’s hard to believe we have less than three months to go until we get to meet this sweet baby of ours. Time slips by quickly, filled to overflowing with all of those things that might take a backseat for a while once Bubbles arrives–coffee dates, walks with friends, dinner parties, time alone with Elie to snuggle and dream. We fully intend to continue to engage in life after baby, but we’re also trying to be realistic that the transition will take time and adjustment. For me, it’s a little scary knowing I can’t be fully prepared for our new reality, no matter how many books I read, advice I seek, stories I hear, friends I’ve observed, or classes I take. And no matter that I’ve dreamed for years about becoming a Mom. Our new life is impossible to clearly foresee.
Just like it was impossible to predict my pregnancy experience. Despite an uncomfortable first few months, I feel blessed to be in the blissful stage of carrying our child. Not only do I feel good, but I love being pregnant.
I love feeling Bubbles kick and squirm, little fingers and toes tickling from inside me. I love seeing the look on Elie’s face and hearing his laugh when he feels the baby move, or watching him put his ear to my belly to try and hear the baby’s heartbeat. I consciously try to capture those tender, fleeting moments, locking them in my memory.
I love my pregnant body and the divine miracle it represents. I’m awed knowing I’m nurturing a new soul. We have a picture of the baby as a five day-old embryo, and in the photograph you can see the cells dividing. I find myself staring at it and wondering when we become who we are? When does our soul find us? I feel the enormous gift and responsibility of being blessed with this being, and I hope and pray I have the wisdom and patience to lift up and encourage and support that tiny soul into becoming whoever he or she is intended to be.
I love the feeling of anticipation, of not knowing if Bubbles is a boy or a girl but the certainty that I will fiercely love and cherish this child either way.
I love the delight that springs in the eyes of others–both friends and strangers–when they see me, or more specifically, my obvious belly. I never anticipated how excited other people would be for us, even if they don’t know us or know us well. It’s like we’re entering a new club, and we’re being welcomed with open arms and cheers from those who know the joys (and challenges) of what lies ahead.
I love hearing others’ birth stories, both the ones that went as planned and the ones that didn’t. I listen and absorb as much wisdom and knowledge as I can, knowing I can’t be fully prepared for the experience. And while I have a specific birth plan defined, I’m also trying to be open-minded and open-hearted to the possibility that my body or Bubbles might have different plans.
Although it will be several years before the baby has a concept of spirituality or faith, Elie and I have started the work of how to merge our individual beliefs into one practice that will work for our family, one that feels comfortable and good for both of us. We still have a lot of work to do on exactly what this will look like for us, and for Bubbles, but we’ve started with a daily expression of gratitude. At this remarkable crossroads in our lives, we feel grateful for so much, but especially for our marriage and for the kindness, respect and adoration that has marked it from the beginning. I am grateful to have Elie as my husband and father to our child, for his love and playfulness, his tenderness and his pragmatism, his adventurous spirit and his strength of character, his curiosity and his selflessness. Bubbles and I are both blessed.
These 25 week maternity photos were taken by our friend, Matt Land of Matthew Land Studios. We’re now at 27 weeks and counting down…